As Lexi Revellian wrote recently, Writer's Angst is a well-documented complaint. I've moved up a gear. I have Writer's Paranoia.
It's been coming on for a while. I had a week where Looking for Buttons sold pretty well. Then I had a week with no sales at all. I panicked and held a three-day free promotion over the Bank Holiday weekend, which saw it climb to number 7 in Amazon's UK humour chart and number 29 (I think) in their US humor chart. I waited, with the obligatory clichéd bated breath, to see how this would affect sales.
It didn't. Nothing happened for a few days, then today, glory be, I had a five star review on Amazon UK (thank you, whoever you are!) and sold a respectable handful of copies. When I checked a little later (compulsive checking of ranking and sales figures is an early symptom of Writer's Paranoia), two of these had been returned for a refund.
Well, that was it. Crushed does not even begin to describe it. While the calm-eyed scientist part of me was pointing out that it may not be that they actively disliked it, it may even have been an inadvertent multiple purchase caused by wobbly fingers, and anyway, does it really matter, the rest of me, the stressed majority that is already gibbering because I start a new job next week, is obsessing over those two returns. Did they buy the book expecting haberdashery tips? Fifty Shades-esque squelchiness? Did they hate the prose? The characters? The plot?
I've taken some deep breaths and listened to my inner dispassionate scientist. Sometimes you buy something and it's not what you expect so you return it. I'm sure M&S don't weep because I've returned a jacket that makes me look like I'm wearing a cardboard box underneath it. Why should I react any differently when someone returns my book?
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to check my sale figures again...
Thursday 30 August 2012
Sunday 26 August 2012
Never too late to jump on a bandwagon
Looking for Buttons now has its very own Facebook page!
Apparently, this means that you can 'like' the book, as opposed to before the Facebook page, when you just liked it (or not - you are of course welcome to your opinion). There are probably other things the page will do but I haven't worked it out yet. Do please bear in mind that I am a neo-luddite and left to my own devices would probably still be self-publishing with crayons.
I'll be posting updates on Facebook from time to time and will continue to witter on Twitter as @looking4buttons.
Isn't modern technology grand? All these ways to avoid actually talking to people...
[Don't forget Looking for Buttons is FREE throughout the Bank Holiday weekend!]
Apparently, this means that you can 'like' the book, as opposed to before the Facebook page, when you just liked it (or not - you are of course welcome to your opinion). There are probably other things the page will do but I haven't worked it out yet. Do please bear in mind that I am a neo-luddite and left to my own devices would probably still be self-publishing with crayons.
I'll be posting updates on Facebook from time to time and will continue to witter on Twitter as @looking4buttons.
Isn't modern technology grand? All these ways to avoid actually talking to people...
[Don't forget Looking for Buttons is FREE throughout the Bank Holiday weekend!]
Friday 24 August 2012
Literary networking the Lucie Parish way
One of my biggest regrets about my undergraduate life (apart from studying a subject I didn't much care for in the deluded hope that it would improve my employment prospects, says she, laughing hollowly) was that I avoided Jilly Cooper.
I was shopping with a friend one Saturday. We drifted into W.H. Smith. There was Jilly Cooper, PR lady at her side, sitting at a table piled high with copies of her latest novel. My friend, a great fan, was very excited and decided to get a signed book for her mum's birthday present. At the time, I had never read any of her novels (this was at the peak of my Alistair MacLean phase). I felt so ashamed at the thought of coming face to face with a very famous author and admitting I'd never even read so much as a blurb that I bolted out of the shop and lurked outside until my friend reappeared, clutching her trophy.
Since then I've read and enjoyed Mrs Cooper's books (I can't call her Jilly, that would be presumptous, given my behaviour). Flatteringly, but ludicrously, Looking for Buttons has been compared to her early novels. Yesterday I read an interview with her in the Times (to which I can't link as it's a subscription-only site) in which she championed character and good writing and generally came across as a thoroughly good egg. I've been kicking myself about the W.H. Smith incident ever since.
Some years later, I saw Joanna Trollope sitting alone at a signing in my local Waterstone's. I'd read and enjoyed her books. I was too skint to buy one and too shy to approach her to say I loved her work, so I just scuttled off instead.
I am so very, very bad at treating published authors as human beings. It's just as well that Looking for Buttons is only available as an e-book. If I had a signing I'd be too embarrassed to turn up.
[This weekend, it's a Bank Holiday Bonanza! Get Looking for Buttons FREE from Amazon from Saturday 25th to Monday 27th August! It's the last giveaway I'll be holding for a while so make the most of it.]
I was shopping with a friend one Saturday. We drifted into W.H. Smith. There was Jilly Cooper, PR lady at her side, sitting at a table piled high with copies of her latest novel. My friend, a great fan, was very excited and decided to get a signed book for her mum's birthday present. At the time, I had never read any of her novels (this was at the peak of my Alistair MacLean phase). I felt so ashamed at the thought of coming face to face with a very famous author and admitting I'd never even read so much as a blurb that I bolted out of the shop and lurked outside until my friend reappeared, clutching her trophy.
Since then I've read and enjoyed Mrs Cooper's books (I can't call her Jilly, that would be presumptous, given my behaviour). Flatteringly, but ludicrously, Looking for Buttons has been compared to her early novels. Yesterday I read an interview with her in the Times (to which I can't link as it's a subscription-only site) in which she championed character and good writing and generally came across as a thoroughly good egg. I've been kicking myself about the W.H. Smith incident ever since.
Some years later, I saw Joanna Trollope sitting alone at a signing in my local Waterstone's. I'd read and enjoyed her books. I was too skint to buy one and too shy to approach her to say I loved her work, so I just scuttled off instead.
I am so very, very bad at treating published authors as human beings. It's just as well that Looking for Buttons is only available as an e-book. If I had a signing I'd be too embarrassed to turn up.
[This weekend, it's a Bank Holiday Bonanza! Get Looking for Buttons FREE from Amazon from Saturday 25th to Monday 27th August! It's the last giveaway I'll be holding for a while so make the most of it.]
Friday 17 August 2012
Gottle of geer
"Find your voice!" the writing handbooks say. Which is fair enough. But there's more.
"Find the voice of your characters!" OK, yes, reading it back they seem to be distinct personalities. Next.
"Find your narrative voice!"
Ah.
Looking for Buttons was written in the first person, narrated by Kate, the central character. I like first person narrative, I like its immediacy and intrinsic bias. It's why I prefer Ice Station Zebra to Where Eagles Dare, although filmwise I'd call it the other way. (Yes, I do realise that writers of romantic comedy do not as a rule cite Alistair MacLean as their writing inspiration, but I am nothing if not, erm, yes, you could say odd.) The Difficult Second Novel, which has more in common with MacLean and Adam Hall than with Looking for Buttons, has a first person narrative. So, first problem - does the narrator of the DSN sound too much like Kate, i.e. do both books in fact just sound like me?
The Difficult Third Novel is shaping up to follow Looking for Buttons into the chick lit genre, but it's written in the third person, with an all-seeing impartial narrator (a bit like David Attenborough, only without the charm and erudition). Reading it back, it's OK, but it's not quite right. So, second problem - should I rewrite it from the point of view of the central character and see if that sorts it out? Which itself brings me to the third problem, which is actually the first problem all over again.
I feel I should draw a flow chart at this point, but that's just the latent scientist in me, and if I sit quietly with my copy of Doctor Faustus for a minute the feeling will pass.
It's not enough just to put words on a page in the right order. You've got to throw your voice at the same time. But if you don't get it right it turns into a boomerang and comes back to clout you round the ear.
It's enough to drive you to drink a gottle of geer.
"Find the voice of your characters!" OK, yes, reading it back they seem to be distinct personalities. Next.
"Find your narrative voice!"
Ah.
Looking for Buttons was written in the first person, narrated by Kate, the central character. I like first person narrative, I like its immediacy and intrinsic bias. It's why I prefer Ice Station Zebra to Where Eagles Dare, although filmwise I'd call it the other way. (Yes, I do realise that writers of romantic comedy do not as a rule cite Alistair MacLean as their writing inspiration, but I am nothing if not, erm, yes, you could say odd.) The Difficult Second Novel, which has more in common with MacLean and Adam Hall than with Looking for Buttons, has a first person narrative. So, first problem - does the narrator of the DSN sound too much like Kate, i.e. do both books in fact just sound like me?
The Difficult Third Novel is shaping up to follow Looking for Buttons into the chick lit genre, but it's written in the third person, with an all-seeing impartial narrator (a bit like David Attenborough, only without the charm and erudition). Reading it back, it's OK, but it's not quite right. So, second problem - should I rewrite it from the point of view of the central character and see if that sorts it out? Which itself brings me to the third problem, which is actually the first problem all over again.
I feel I should draw a flow chart at this point, but that's just the latent scientist in me, and if I sit quietly with my copy of Doctor Faustus for a minute the feeling will pass.
It's not enough just to put words on a page in the right order. You've got to throw your voice at the same time. But if you don't get it right it turns into a boomerang and comes back to clout you round the ear.
It's enough to drive you to drink a gottle of geer.
Tuesday 14 August 2012
Facing up to the publicity game
Life gets slightly weird when you publish a book. Today I was invited to make a guest appearance on a website to promote Looking for Buttons. Fabulous. Except I need to provide an author photo.
Ah.
As I've said before, I'm not photogenic. It's been over a year since I last had my picture taken, unawares, and when I saw it posted on Facebook I wailed about my Cold War-era Eastern Bloc shotputter's arms and pleaded for it to be taken down. I can only think of one set of recent(ish) photos I can bear to look at, and then I was wearing a furry lion suit to entertain small children at my local library.
I started to wonder when this image-hungry world started to drag an author's mugshot into prominence. Surely it's a modern phenomenon. If I looked along my bookcase (or in fact gingerly peered at the teetering overflow pile in front of it, currently nearing six feet high), surely I would find faceless authors.
A random selection: Terry Pratchett - photo inside cover. John Buchan - photo on back cover. Ngaio Marsh - photo on back cover. Adam Hall - photo on inside flap of dustjacket. Mervyn Peake - wonderful artist, self-portraits. OK, maybe it's a twentieth century phenomenon. Go back further. Charlotte Bronte - painting by her brother. Charles Dickens - used to be on a banknote. Further still. Christopher Marlowe - the Corpus Christi portait, might be him, might not, great image anyhow so who cares? I can put a face to almost every author in my collection. People like to know who they're reading. I'm no different, so I really can't deny that an author photo is going to become necessary at some point.
But will anybody accept a lion who writes romantic comedies?
Ah.
As I've said before, I'm not photogenic. It's been over a year since I last had my picture taken, unawares, and when I saw it posted on Facebook I wailed about my Cold War-era Eastern Bloc shotputter's arms and pleaded for it to be taken down. I can only think of one set of recent(ish) photos I can bear to look at, and then I was wearing a furry lion suit to entertain small children at my local library.
I started to wonder when this image-hungry world started to drag an author's mugshot into prominence. Surely it's a modern phenomenon. If I looked along my bookcase (or in fact gingerly peered at the teetering overflow pile in front of it, currently nearing six feet high), surely I would find faceless authors.
A random selection: Terry Pratchett - photo inside cover. John Buchan - photo on back cover. Ngaio Marsh - photo on back cover. Adam Hall - photo on inside flap of dustjacket. Mervyn Peake - wonderful artist, self-portraits. OK, maybe it's a twentieth century phenomenon. Go back further. Charlotte Bronte - painting by her brother. Charles Dickens - used to be on a banknote. Further still. Christopher Marlowe - the Corpus Christi portait, might be him, might not, great image anyhow so who cares? I can put a face to almost every author in my collection. People like to know who they're reading. I'm no different, so I really can't deny that an author photo is going to become necessary at some point.
But will anybody accept a lion who writes romantic comedies?
Thursday 9 August 2012
You know how to whistle, don't you?
If you'd asked me about feedback ten years ago, I'd have launched into an explanation of how amplified sound leaving a loudspeaker is picked up by the microphone, causing a cycle of further amplification until you get the whistling screech familiar at rock concerts or near a hearing aid wearer. Possibly I'd have drawn a diagram. If you'd asked me on a day when things were going particularly badly, I'd probably have gibbered into my copy of Fundamentals of Acoustics and lapsed into miserable silence while scrolling through the vintage jewellery listings on eBay.
But those days are behind me now and today I'm more concerned with feedback from readers. Yesterday a friend told me I had my first US review on Amazon. I was a little nervous. I don't know anyone in the States so this was my first review by a complete stranger. Eventually I plucked up the courage to read it and it was far kinder than I'd dared hope. This was A Relief.
Writing is a solitary pursuit. It's easy to lose all perspective over whether what you write is any good or not, and it gets worse once you've had a few knockbacks from literary agents (although I still cherish the rejection letter than described Looking for Buttons as "well-written and perceptive"). Until now, only friends had judged the book and, delusional though I am, I could not regard their opinions as totally unbiased. But now Looking for Buttons is out there, fending for itself, being read and, I hope, enjoyed by people I will never meet. I hope that some of them will tell me what they think.
Until then, I'll just have to whistle to myself.
But those days are behind me now and today I'm more concerned with feedback from readers. Yesterday a friend told me I had my first US review on Amazon. I was a little nervous. I don't know anyone in the States so this was my first review by a complete stranger. Eventually I plucked up the courage to read it and it was far kinder than I'd dared hope. This was A Relief.
Writing is a solitary pursuit. It's easy to lose all perspective over whether what you write is any good or not, and it gets worse once you've had a few knockbacks from literary agents (although I still cherish the rejection letter than described Looking for Buttons as "well-written and perceptive"). Until now, only friends had judged the book and, delusional though I am, I could not regard their opinions as totally unbiased. But now Looking for Buttons is out there, fending for itself, being read and, I hope, enjoyed by people I will never meet. I hope that some of them will tell me what they think.
Until then, I'll just have to whistle to myself.
Monday 6 August 2012
At the end of the day, you need clichés
Flick through any guide to writing and the chances are you'll come across advice along the lines of 'Avoid clichés like the plague'. Good advice, but I think that clichés can be useful shortcuts if you handle them properly.
Chick-lit is commonly held to be a grab-bag of hackneyed characters and scenarios: the ditzy heroine, always unlucky in love; the unobtainable perfect man; the all-too obtainable wrong 'un; the wisecracking best friend; the difficult relationship with a parent; the misunderstandings and complications that drive the plot along.
Having written that, my first thought was, "Oh hell, how high does Looking for Buttons score on the clichéometer?" My second, gingerly relieved thought, was that this is the whole point of this post. Yes, there are familiar people and scenarios but using something familiar doesn't make it dull (I hope). The general framework is familiar, I grant you. That's what the reader wants, that's what tells them it's their sort of book. It's what you do within that framework that makes the difference.
When you take a romantic comedy and boil it down, you end up with a fairytale, shorn of its gorier elements. We're brought up on fairytales. Is it any wonder that we still want to read them when (if) we grow up?
Books offer us a happy ever after. If you have to resort to a kind of cultural shorthand to reach that point, is that so very wrong?
[PS This blog has just passed a thousand hits. Thank you very much for reading it.]
Chick-lit is commonly held to be a grab-bag of hackneyed characters and scenarios: the ditzy heroine, always unlucky in love; the unobtainable perfect man; the all-too obtainable wrong 'un; the wisecracking best friend; the difficult relationship with a parent; the misunderstandings and complications that drive the plot along.
Having written that, my first thought was, "Oh hell, how high does Looking for Buttons score on the clichéometer?" My second, gingerly relieved thought, was that this is the whole point of this post. Yes, there are familiar people and scenarios but using something familiar doesn't make it dull (I hope). The general framework is familiar, I grant you. That's what the reader wants, that's what tells them it's their sort of book. It's what you do within that framework that makes the difference.
When you take a romantic comedy and boil it down, you end up with a fairytale, shorn of its gorier elements. We're brought up on fairytales. Is it any wonder that we still want to read them when (if) we grow up?
Books offer us a happy ever after. If you have to resort to a kind of cultural shorthand to reach that point, is that so very wrong?
[PS This blog has just passed a thousand hits. Thank you very much for reading it.]
Saturday 4 August 2012
Freebie Friday - the aftermath
I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I put Looking for Buttons on a free promotion yesterday. I hoped to get some more readers and to get some feedback - and, with luck, some positive reviews. (My sole, cherished, five-star Amazon review is very kind - but the reviewer is an old friend and I'm not sure how much her kindness can be put down to liking the book and how much to the fear that I might turn up at her house and wail plaintively through the letterbox if she said she hated it.) I suppose what I wanted was to find out if there was a market for the book at all.
I checked the book's progress mid-afternoon and it had shifted a couple of hundred copies. I was pleased with that.
I checked again just before I went to bed. Looking for Buttons was at number ten on Amazon's free Kindle book Humour chart. As I stared, it moved up to number nine. It was at number 147 on the general chart.
Through sheer ill luck I wasn't able to log on to check the book's performance before the promotion ended this morning, so I don't know where it finished in the Humour chart, but the stats I could access showed it ended the promotion at number 111 overall. In one day, nearly a thousand people worldwide had downloaded Looking for Buttons. I'm still boggling about that. Hopefully, some of them will actually like it and recommend it to other people.
I'm told word of mouth is the secret to marketing an indie book successfully. I really hope that's true. If I start to see an improvement in sales, I'll consider holding another free promotion. Watch this space.
I checked the book's progress mid-afternoon and it had shifted a couple of hundred copies. I was pleased with that.
I checked again just before I went to bed. Looking for Buttons was at number ten on Amazon's free Kindle book Humour chart. As I stared, it moved up to number nine. It was at number 147 on the general chart.
Through sheer ill luck I wasn't able to log on to check the book's performance before the promotion ended this morning, so I don't know where it finished in the Humour chart, but the stats I could access showed it ended the promotion at number 111 overall. In one day, nearly a thousand people worldwide had downloaded Looking for Buttons. I'm still boggling about that. Hopefully, some of them will actually like it and recommend it to other people.
I'm told word of mouth is the secret to marketing an indie book successfully. I really hope that's true. If I start to see an improvement in sales, I'll consider holding another free promotion. Watch this space.
Thursday 2 August 2012
Friday Freebie!
Only time for a quick post today, but it's a good 'un.
From 9 a.m. (if I've got the conversion right - midnight if you're on Pacific Time in the USA) on Friday 3rd August, for one day only, Looking for Buttons is free.
From 9 a.m. (if I've got the conversion right - midnight if you're on Pacific Time in the USA) on Friday 3rd August, for one day only, Looking for Buttons is free.
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